Baby's Gotten Good at Goodbye... or not

2/20/2006




For such a pessimistic and/or realistic society, we sure do get let down a lot.

The pain of giving up your dreams is nothing short of excruciating, even when that moment has been planned. Maybe it’s worse when you know the time will come when you have to let go- you’ve thought about it, analyzed it, mapped it out. Then all the sudden, it’s done. Gone. And you watch it fall away from you in slow motion for what seems like eternity.

Maybe we kid ourselves into thinking we won’t really have to give up. We feed ourselves false hope up until the very moment. Then the phone rings, and our feeding tubes are abruptly pulled.

Even when you know what’s happening is for the best, you still hold onto that sliver of a chance that everyone else is wrong and you’re right- you were right to hold on so tightly. However, it never works out that way. Everyone else is always right- just what did you see in it/him/or any other pronoun?

I’ve had quite a few lofty ambitions, far-out goals, and desperate relationships, and I’ve seen each one fall farther away from me. I’m slowly becoming emotionally void when it comes to losing. Why does everyone hold on so tightly? Is it ever justifiable to give up and let go? Yes, of course it is- but it doesn’t change the fact that most of us can’t seem to let anything or anyone go. We save our old love letters, prom dresses, ticket stubs, and unrealistic expectations like they’re vintage Versace.

How do we know when we’re beyond the point of no return? Is there a sign somewhere that says “STOP TRYING” in bold print? If so, I haven’t found it, and neither have a million other people holding on to bogus dreams. Why have we been raised to follow our dreams, when those dreams may be completely asinine? Whether it’s a picket fence and three kids or making partner at the firm, it seems like we’re lying to ourselves in outlandish proportions.

So has the sky gotten higher, or have we just gotten more naïve? Or maybe having high hopes ensures that we’ll at least get something sort of close to the sky. Is it better, though, to be a realist from the start? Do we really want to know we don’t have a chance with the GQ-esque guy in the corner, or would we rather have him be icily polite to us when we brave the cheese tray?

Whether it’s filling out that grad school application to Harvard, or just telling yourself that maybe the guy in Starbucks really was looking at you, this kind of hope is necessary. So we’re going to get let down ninety percent of the time, but at least saying goodbye gets easier… right?