Screwing the Senses: Stepping Back From the Screen

7/21/2006



At first, I concentrated too much. My muscles were tense, my eyebrows furrowed, and I tried too hard to come up with a “strategy.” I swerved erratically and shot blanks while I thought about what was going on. Fifteen dollars worth of tokens later, I realized that with arcade games, a strategy isn’t really needed. “That deaf, dumb, and blind kid sure plays mean pinball.” And after playing my very first arcade game tonight, I think I see the logic in this line of the song. There may be a strategy inside the machine- a precut plan as to what is going to happen- but we don’t really have any control over where the bad guys shoot, do we?

That’s why the deaf, dumb, and blind kid is so good. He hears, understands, and sees what is behind the screen. He can’t overthink or look too deeply or hear a bit more than is meant. He uses his instincts.

I have been told many times that I overthink everything. I read between the lines of every statement. And, more than once, that facet of my personality has destroyed my relationships. No one likes to be under a microscope, but I don’t like to be in the dark either. I don’t like to feel as if someone is pulling a hat over my eyes. However, I’m willing to bet that if I were just a little more deaf, dumb, and blind, guys would like me a lot better. I wouldn’t analyze them and have premeditated conversations designed to draw out information to further my analysis.

Wouldn’t love be so much better without the senses behind our senses? If we only heard the words he actually chose, not the words we think he meant to say. If we only understood what he said, not what we decide he wanted to say. If only we saw him for exactly who he is, not who we want him to be. Instead we go beyond what God gave us to understand and venture back into the Garden of Eden to find what we believe will give us greater understanding- when in reality, it only gives us heartache.

If we just stepped back from the screen a little bit and saw the big picture instead of the minutiae. If we only could see the garish colors around the gunshots instead of the colors within the pixels. If only we could see the look in his eyes instead of trying to read his entire body for some earth-shattering confession.

The next date I head out on, I am going completely unarmed. The next arcade game, well, I’ll be armed with a plastic gun and a fistful of tokens. But certainly no plan to execute in either situation… even if I have to blindfold myself and get some of those awful yellow earplugs.