Zombies of the 21st Century: The Undead of Our Days

8/6/2006




Death used to be so casual. Bodies of the deceased were kept in their home for a week, sitting in their chair or lying on the sofa. This was only a century ago. Now, we have grief counselors, elaborate funerals, and ceremonies that are supposed to provide closure. We have books to tell us how to let go of someone, how to deal with break ups and divorces. Are we so inept that we don’t know how to get over anything?

Maybe dead and gone just isn’t so simple anymore.

Death customs have changed radically and repeatedly over the course of humanity. The Egyptians mummified and treated the dead as if they were going to continue in life, and prepared them for Anubis. The Mesopotamians believed there to be no worse fate for a soul then to lie unburied—after death, the soul would continue to feel what was done to the body. There was a deep respect for the dead, but there was no prolonged mourning period. It is interesting that in the Old Testament, death is a very final thing. In the New Testament, death is bordering on happy because it is viewed as a new beginning. In Africa, “funerals” are celebrations. African tribes have always felt that the deceased were better off because they no longer had to endure the world. The Greeks placed much effort into the dead, placing gold coins over their eyes to keep them closed on the journey to the underworld via the river Styx. Interestingly enough, Lethe was another river to Hades- Greek for “forgiveness.”

In none of these cultures would our rituals be normal. It was in Europe all our customs originated. Widows wore black for four years at a minimum, with a lock of their dead husband’s hair around their necks. Strangely, in some American Indian tribes, cutting off a finger honored death. In the deep South- think Scarlett O’Hara times- it was unthinkable to associate with a man during a mourning period. Remember the frowns of society when Scarlett danced with Rhett? Is North America just an oddball?

Why, in most of the world, is death expected and considered natural? The end is always part of the story in every culture but ours. No longer are we allowed to enter a relationship and admit it will end. Friends tell us we’re damning it before it starts, or that it’s like living in terms of dying. We don’t even like our movies to really end, or our TV series to draw to a close. We like soap operas where our favorite character comes back from the dead. We live for cliffhangers… for un-endings. And sadly, that’s how we’ve come to expect life. Our media-fed culture isn’t fed “how to end” or “how to move on.”

Because we are conditioned to carry grief and unhappiness, we accumulate an amazing amount of baggage. Each tough episode totes the luggage out from our closets. Each suitcase is unzipped and every painful detail pours out. Therefore, our lives just keep getting harder. It takes longer each time to stuff the clothes and shoes and letters and pain back in, until eventually we’re sitting on top of it while someone else tries to zip it. We usually get the top to stay shut, but there’s still that inch or two at the end we leave open. It’s that inch or two that makes it hard to sleep at night.

When- and more importantly, how- did it become so difficult to let go of what’s left you? We now view death as the end- we fear it from the day we become old enough to comprehend the end of our life. Not only do we fear it, but also we fight it tooth and nail. It’s unacceptable not to cry at a funeral, just as it is unacceptable to pull the plug when a loved one has been in a coma for years. It is unacceptable to accept death.

This is why women can’t get remarried without feeling guilty. This is why we have books called “He’s Just Not That Into You” and funerals that cost 10K. We’re trying to buy a way to move on… but moving on is something that’s learned. Closure isn’t brought by a beautiful sermon or a thoughtfully engraved tombstone or finding him in bed with another woman. It’s just not as simple as we need it to be these days.

Dead and gone just doesn’t happen. Every apartment in New York City is haunted for a reason, right?